The Placebo Chronicles: Strange but True Tales From the Doctors' Lounge by Douglas Farrago M. D. & Gordon W. Marshall

Author:Douglas Farrago M. D. & Gordon W. Marshall [D., Douglas Farrago M. & Marshall, Gordon W.]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Humor, Form, Anecdotes & Quotations, Medical, Essays
ISBN: 9780307489593
Google: b63ZNmIi4DsC
Amazon: 0767919491
Publisher: Broadway Books
Published: 2005-04-11T23:00:00+00:00

THE

NEW

DOCTOR

Hooray! The new doctor is here! The new doctor is here!

Unfortunately, this is something only heard on corny television shows and in movies. In reality, there are no grand celebrations and there are no red carpets. Sure, some hospitals may have a lame welcome party for the new blood coming in each year, but that is basically all you get. The doctors on staff may smile and say hello the first day, but the next day you are on your own. “Good to have you with us” is what they say, but “Get your ass to work” is what they mean. This is usually capped off by putting you on-call your first weekend on the job. On-call is the despised responsibility of being at the whim and mercy of patients as well as the emergency department. In fact, my first night on call was a classic example of what's in store for new physicians.

It was my first week in practice and I was raw as could be. I was called to the ER because a patient, who had no primary care doctor, had a fever. This was no big deal except for the fact that he had had a kidney transplant in the past. Not knowing how to “turf him” to a specialist yet, I went in and did the job. To turf someone means to pass off the patient to another physician more capable than you are or who should be doing the job instead of you. I didn't know any better, so I worked my ass off for hours. I tried to remember everything I'd ever been taught about long-term transplant effects and problems. I called the transplant center at the teaching hospital in the next state and got their advice. They were nice enough to go over everything – what I knew and what I'd never known – with me. After finishing up and tying the loose ends into a nice package, I decided to call our local nephrologist (kidney doctor) and alert her of the admission. I figured she could stay in bed and come in and consult in the morning. I was still, at that time in my life, very considerate.

“Did you take care of renal transplant patients where you trained!” she yelled.

“No.”

“Then what makes you think you can take care of them now!”

“I don't know. I did call the transplant center and they … “

“I'm coming in,” she interrupted and hung up on me.

The ER doctor turned pale when I told him that the nephrologist was on her way. “Oh, boy,” he muttered as he walked away scratching his head. Now I knew why he called me in the first place to admit the patient! I convinced myself that I wasn't scared of her, but did find myself sneaking out the back exit a short time later anyway. I didn't need to be berated again in person on my first call night.

All in all, though, it was an important lesson and I learned it

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